This post is for all my A-type dad’s out there.
How do you feel when your plans get blown up? It drove me crazy.
I would start my day with a beautiful schedule, perfect blocks of time, accounting for variables like traffic, weather, and kids.
Then I'd be sitting in gridlock for an hour and my whole day was ruined.
I would start to panic and agonize over all the things I’m not going to get done and stress out over how this is going to affect the rest of my plans. I would feel angry and resigned to failure.
The anxiety and urgency I would create for every little thing to be “on schedule” was killing me. I was a Schedule Terminator.
I was in a rush to do everything, get to work, get home from work, run errands, feed kids, bathe kids, put kids to bed. I’m feeling that old stress surface writing this. I didn’t take the time to enjoy anything in my life, I was busy rushing from one scheduled task to another.
"I wasted 2hrs in f’ing traffic"
"Why is this taking so f’ing long"
“Can you move faster, FUCK!”
What I didn’t realize was that all this stress was of my own creation. I created the timetable, I created the list of things to do, I also chose to have a job, have kids and have “me” time. Why then was I feeling like it was all an obligation?
It's because it was on the schedule, and if I didn’t complete the schedule I was a failure.
Here’s the thing: scheduling DOES work for me, and I do 80-100% of what I set out to do on any given day. So why then did I use my schedule and lists to beat up on myself? I used my schedule and todo list as a measuring stick for my “success”. If I could do all the things then I was a good husband, father, worker, person. I made the “list” a reflection of my worth. Instead what I was creating was stress, anxiety, anger & resentment.
I wasn’t a better father, a better husband or a better employee.
How do you act when you're in Schedule Terminator mode?
What good does it do you?
You have a choice, be a slave to your schedule or let your schedule do what it's supposed to do, be a guide for your life.
If you need help with this or any other of life’s problems DM me and we can set up a time to talk. If I can learn to chill out I know I can help you as well.